When you first arrived, you didn't bother me. That's because you didn't used to do anything annoying! Now, that seems like that's all you do. One minute you're knocking down my Lego castle, the next you're trying to bite me in the leg, and then you start crying so that Mom automatically blames me since I am bigger than you. This doesn't seem fair to me. I have heard people ask her if I was jealous when you were born. I don't really know what is jealous, but Mom always used to say, "No, not really." But now, you do seem to get more attention than I do, especially in the evening when Mom gives us ice cream and raisins and puts us in the back garden. I told you not to dump your bowl of raisins on the ground, but you didn't listen. You are going to have to listen to me more as you get bigger because I know what I'm talking about. I am a big boy, you see, and you are just a baby, although really you don't seem like that much of a baby anymore. And I knew that if you dumped out your raisins, Mom would come out of the kitchen and tell you that you shouldn't have spilled the bowl. In the meantime she didn't have time to help me when I took too big a bite of my popsicle and it was freezing in my mouth and I didn't know what to do, whether to spit it out or swallow it.
Mom and Dad keep saying that I have to be friends with you, because I am your brother and because eventually you are going to be more fun to play with, so I am asking you if you could either hurry up with that, or just stop bugging me in the meantime. I have very important big boy things to do, like playing with my cash register (no, you cannot have the money because it is too small and you will eat it), and wearing my big-boy pants (you are a baby so you wear a nappy), and riding my scooter (you are too small for the scooter, it is only for big boys, I said!).
But I do really love you, Noah. Don't you know that my head-butts are a sign of affection?!
Love your brother,