Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Life is stranger than science fiction

Starlog message
To: Commander B. Maker
From: 2nd Officer NT Lyons

Greetings, Commander Maker. I report from my base of the last 9 months and hope that all is well at the Battlestar Newbaybee.

It appears that you received my Code Red message as per my GBTW discharge instructions from April. In the last week, I began to detect an increased usage by the Pilot of my Mothership of these words: "go", "back", "to", and "work", and you must have responded appropriately to my Code Red SOS to influence the pilot's course of actions of our past week. After many months spent enjoying a light sleep in the 4-wheeled all-terrain buggy, I have been transported into the cage-like sleeping berth in my quarters for my daytime sleep in order to establish a more predictable pattern to this activity. Darkening fabric has been placed over the windows of my quarters so that it is difficult to be disturbed by the sunbeams streaming in (though these are uncommon in this drab winter climate), and I have been outfitted in my nighttime sleepsuit. The effect has been generally positive to my mood, although the Mothership Pilot still seems to wish for me to engage in even more sleeping activity. Perhaps once the pain in my mouth subsides I will be able to relax and enjoy my cozy quarters even more. Have you had any updates on the expected arrival date of my right central incisor? It would be most helpful to know this for planning purposes.

I have also been given charge of two poor creatures who were apparently in need of support and encouragement; one is a bear with some obvious issues, as he is unable to detach himself from a soft blanket, and the other is a giraffe suffering from a shorter-than-normal neck. I have done my best to let them know that with me, they are safe from the evil forces of Banished Plush Toys.

I must report, Sir, on a most delicious meal which was prepared by the Mothership Chef last night. It seemed to go by the code name "Penny" and to use a phrase from our field, it was out of this world! Slightly softened, tubular-shaped delicacies, served with a sauce not dissimilar in texture and consistency to molten lava. I could not get enough of the tubes, and the Mothership Chef was quite perplexed at how quickly I slurped down the "Penny". She kept examining the floor around my dining seat thinking that I had just dropped them. But they were so good I even ate some of the ones which had been abandoned by my 1st officer.

I was also sent out yesterday and today to an alternative Day Station to explore a new territory. The Mothership Pilot was close by, only a few feet away as I began to familiarize myself with the new surroundings. There were other officers there who are posted in nearby quarters and we began to communicate. I look forward to reporting as to whether we'll become comrades. On Thursday and Friday I will attend the Day Station for lunch; I am quite hopeful that I will encounter "Penny" there as well.

Sir, I do want to thank you for selecting me for this mission. The senior officers at my Mothership have been very kind and generous to me and I hope you and they have been happy with my work as well.

I leave you with some photos of me in my new daytime sleep mode, and several from today in the all-terrain buggy. Babyspeed, NTL

No comments: