Two Kensal Rise locals lunched on Thursday at The Diner on the corner of Chamberlayne Road. Here are their thoughts on the lunch.
Hers: I was craving some American fare so instead of going home after the park, I suggested lunch at The Diner. I thought there might be enough distractions in the form of the area in the back which is fitted with lots of soft books, toys, etc. Unfortunately when we got there I noticed an annoying local woman was there with her equally annoying child, so instead I just opted for a booth nearer to the front. From the beginning, my "date" acted like a complete Neanderthal - he kept standing on the booth bench, kept trying to chew the edge of the wall between us and the next booth, and at one point almost dropped a bottle of Heinz 57 to the floor. The service was snail-paced as usual and I was worried I wasn't going to make it through the lunch what with having to distract B* constantly. I mean, had he never been to a restaurant before or something?! Fortunately when the food arrived things looked up. Some of the caveman-like behavior continued, though, as when B tried to spear an entire sausage on his fork, or when he dropped a french fry, and (I almost couldn't look) went to retrieve it under the table. He nearly grabbed my burger out of my hand but looked totally put out when I went to eat some of his french fries. I kept thinking, Who raised this guy?! He flirted shamelessly with the waitress, dancing to some Motown song which made both of them giggle. Finally, we had both finished eating and mercifully the bill arrived. As expected, he made no move to help pay his share, so I ended picking up the meal for us both. I don't think I'll be returning there with him any time soon. My burger was fantastic though!
His: I would have been happy with a nap in my stroller followed by beans on toast back at my place, but she insisted on going to The Diner. Rather than the nice area in the back she picked a strange booth at the front where the only thing to do was to peer over at the people in the next booth who appeared to be having a very good time. Evidently I was being rude by doing this, but I don't think they minded. I wish I could comment on the menu although M* was so controlling that she didn't even let me look at it and just ordered for me. Fortunately what she did order was pretty tasty: a really good sausage, some french fries and green beans. I wanted to have a bite of her burger but she clearly wasn't into sharing, although seconds later she contradicted herself by grabbing a huge handful of MY fries. I went to show her a trick I'd learned with a straw and my glass of orange juice but I got told off for being childish. Honestly, it felt like I was out with my mother or something. The waitress was a dead ringer for Upsy Daisy from ItNG, so I was glad when she kept coming back to our table to do little things. Since I felt it was M's idea to go out to lunch, I let her pick up the bill. She's got a job, so I know she can afford it. The best thing about the lunch was definitely the ketchup.
*Names have been shortened