Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Lunchgate standoff, Day 2

Like any good militia-man, Blake felt the need for camouflage as the "Lunchgate standoff" entered its second day. He even sacrificed several bites of his beloved avocado to smear it on as warpaint, and Lunch-bo Lyons was born. From the front line, he writes to our editor:

I was up before dawn, eager to gather intelligence about what lay ahead for the day. Nobody else stirred when I shouted out so I went back for a few more minutes of kip. When the woman came in to get me, I noticed she'd put that stuff around her eyes so my spirits lifted as that meant we would probably be leaving base camp later to meet some allies. Gruel for breakfast was mediocre but I found some happiness in several bites of oranges. We did indeed head out into the damp morning, down to the park and the warmth of the cafe. My good friend Alice was there so we exchanged tales from the trenches while the women babbled on about messy eating, naps, and equipment. You would think they would just get over it and move on, but no. Alice had run out of whiskey but she spared me a cheese curl which was the best thing I've ever tasted. Back to camp where I indulged the woman by falling asleep in my cot for a bit, but I couldn't let her get too smug so I made lunch a bit difficult for her. Got to keep her guessing, you know. She then seemed to go a bit funny, pointing at herself and saying over and over, "Mama, mama." I do hope she's ok. Then we had free time. I got my hands on some high-tech gadgetry but after some programming and manipulation, the only thing that happened was a very loud noise came out of the silver box. After that the woman grabbed the manipulating device and the screen went black. I was a bit confused by the next series of events - the woman speaking in some undecipherable code: "Red square, the triangle is green, blue circle." Huh? She kept trying to fit these pieces into a plastic cylinder with its lid on, but I showed her that it was all much easier if you just took the lid off. She does often tend to take the hard route. Anyway, had a quick drink of milk and then it was back into the cot. I'll be on guard but if I do get tired, I hope nobody will mind if I do nod off for a bit...

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